ToDe

You’re so big now,

And it makes me so proud,

When I think about, how,

We used to kick it in your bedroom,

Looking from the first floor

Time would pass, and we’d always beg for more.

 

See, you will understand that I found comfort in your insanity,

In your whirlwind, I found clarity,

You had one simple philosophy, and that was; “Be Happy”.

 

Be happy,

And that’s what you were,

You were happy,

You taught me how to let go,

How to be happy even when you know

The detention room is where you’re going to go

 

You were magic,

Bursts of energy, free spirit, characterized the free-born spirit you are.

You ignited my soul,

You inspired my whole, being,

With you was ecstasy.

And when you spoke my name, I swear my heart beat to the rhythm of our African forefathers’ drums.

Smiling before the breath escaping my lungs, with excitement,

I accepted you whole.

 

You had eyes that bore straight to my soul,

There was no method to your madness, but the madness was a method describing sanity.

Brown-skinned east African, you were beauty.

 

You’re so big now,

We drifted apart so quickly, it baffles me how,

I’m dying to speak to you,

And yet I fear rejection,

Two different paths we have taken,

Do our minds still share toys in the playpen?

 

I watched you jet off into the sunset,

Or rather you left me where the sun set the bronze color of your complexion,

And there I was longing for affection.

Your love was an infection, infecting my dreams, we can call it inception,

And without you, I lost my direction.

 

See when you walked out,

I lost more than a part of me,

I lost a reason to be,

The future, my eyes could no longer see,

I searched and searched for God, and yet the devil was all I could be,

But to you I held on,

 

To you, I held on,

And when you began to move on,

Dim became the light of a new dawn,

 

Then they came to me,

The lion and the fawn,

Told me to look deep inside then all fear would be gone,

 

I didn’t know it then, but I realize it now,

You were my first love, it’s quite fascinating, how,

I loved you unconditionally, unintentionally, and yet uncompromisingly.

 

I still look at you and understand why,

But to think you’d understand, would be feeding myself a lie,

Because,

You’re so big now,

At one time we were perfect,

But now, it’s time for me to step back and, watch your life unfold,

 

‘Cause you’re so big now, still perfect, just a little old.